Beheld Read online

  In memory of my great-grandmother, Fonda Davis

  BY THE SAME AUTHOR

  The Wives of Los Alamos: A Novel

  Contents

  Part One

  Alice Bradford

  John Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  John Billington

  Newcomen

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  Newcomen

  Alice Bradford

  John Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Alice Bradford

  John Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Meanwhile

  Alice Bradford

  Part Two

  Newcomen

  Alice Bradford

  John Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  John Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Nature

  Alice Bradford

  Newcomen

  John Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Dorothy

  Eleanor Billington

  The Diary of John Winthrop: Governor of the Massachussetts Bay Colony

  Alice Bradford

  Dorothy

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Part Three

  Eleanor Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Eleanor Billington

  Alice Bradford

  Author’s Note

  Acknowledgments

  A Note on the Author

  1630

  New Plymouth

  Part One

  Alice Bradford

  We thought ourselves a murderless colony. In God’s good favor, we created a place on a hill overlooking the sea, in the direction from which we came. For a while, God’s favor seemed possible. But it pleased Him to have other plans.

  I remember that day, in the year of our Lord sixteen hundred and thirty, that the first colonist was murdered. We were divided, as we had been from the beginning—half of the colonists were congregants striving to live as God intended. And the other half? Well, they were why we took care to mend the fences.

  It was August, the month of promises fulfilled or never realized. Our harvest had been bountiful: acres of nearly ripe corn, beans, and squash. I had three living children with me in Plymouth. William the younger was six. Mercy was three, already feeding herself porridge, and gentle with the newborn Joseph, when reminded. My two eldest were still in Holland. At forty years of age, I was for the final time a new mother. Joseph, two weeks old, newly whelped. I was blessed to have so many healthy children.

  My husband saw the ship’s arrival first. He lifted the oiled cloth on the window and said, They’ll be here by supper. The newcomers were at least a week past due.

  Young William followed his father in nearly all ways, including, that morning, climbing up on a chair to see out the window, though he, unbalanced, fell backward. His skull knocked against the floor. I jumped and gave the baby to his father. Everything could have been a sign of what was to come.

  I took young William in my arms. He was a clumsy child but recovered quickly, and soon asked to be excused to milk the heifer. It was one of the few chores he enjoyed doing, though he had heard God is always watching enough not to stray too often from his tasks.

  Downward to the sea was the shore and a single ship that at this distance looked so quiet, one could think of it as a peaceful sign or as a menace. The ocean rolled toward us. Surrounding Plymouth was the palisade and past the palisade, the wolves. Wolves, so close to resembling our companions, but not of our kinship. Killing our swine and our cows. What swine and cows we had left foraged and trampled on the Wampanoag’s crops. We erected more fences. We affirmed we were not at fault. I calculated, incorrectly, that the ship would be here before lunch.

  John Billington

  John Billington loved mornings. He loved waking before his wife and sons, before the human world woke. If he stirred before them, he thought it already a day blessed by God. When the boys were young—for seven years at least—there had not been a morning like this. Now, his eldest, John the younger, was two years dead, in a grave behind his house. His youngest, Francis, was in bed with his mother.

  John Billington heard the ee-oh-lay of thrush. He imagined what trees the birds were on, what fences. Ten, then twenty, the numbers swelling, growing louder, until there seemed to be a symphony. He smiled large enough to reveal his rotting front tooth. His wife and son slept through the noise. Astonishing it was, to hear the low hum in the background of your life brought forth to a crescendo. At fifty years of age, he knew the world was painful, but also beautiful.

  Behind the sound of birds, he heard his goat, Mary, opening herself up for her infant. Two weeks earlier she bore three babies. The runt, a male, was the only to survive. He suckled greedily at the teat.

  The birds were startling in their shrill calls to one another. Though perhaps this was not a happy sound at all, but instead rivalry. The birdsong came to a halt. He did not hear their wings flapping in the wind. It was as if they saw something and, in fear, kept quiet. He could no longer hear the goats, either. Had sound itself ceased?

  John Billington tiptoed from his bed to the door, opened it only enough to slip out. He was a slender man, often preferring drink to food, and the door made little sound.

  Outside, nothing was amiss. His house was still directly across from Governor Bradford’s. He was still at the crossroads betwixt the wide road that ran east–west, from the ocean to the meetinghouse, and the road that ran north–south. He was still in the last place he wished to be: at the center of it all, so the puritan hypocrites could place their watchful eyes upon him. These puritans kept their enemies close.

  Why were they hypocrites? The reasons were numerous, but on this morning John Billington was most concerned thus: that they forbid commoners such as himself from trading with the Wampanoag Indians while they did so freely. As if the Indians were murderers, when in fact the only ones near Plymouth who had murdered were Captain Standish and his militia, the proof of which—Wituwamat’s head on a stake—was erected atop the roof of the meetinghouse. In pamphlets the puritans called the Indians idle, unable to help themselves, poor farmers who left the land desolate and therefore ready for the English. But it was Squanto who had shown them how to fertilize the sandy, shallow soil with fish; it was the Wampanoag Indians who gave them seeds to grow squash, corn, and beans. It was the knowledge of the Wampanoag women, planting in their own fields, that they had, in the beginning, relied upon. All things Governor Bradford would never put in writing. A disgrace that the hypocrites called themselves godly men and lied thus to get what it was they wanted: profit. John Billington had every right to trade with them.

  The birds were gone. Who or what had provoked them? Had Billington had too much ale last evening? No, two pints only, though he had hoped for more.

  A lone colonist walked up the hill toward the meetinghouse. A man whose face and gait he did not recognize. Beyond him, on the water, at a distance Billington could barely see, was a ship full of passengers, passengers sold on lies about what awaited them. His own experience on the Mayflower, though ten years past, was palpable. He had been the tenth person to step off the ship. He should be considered an elder. But the leaders of Plymouth would never recognize him as such. Those like him—the former and cur
rent indentured servants, the commoners—treated him with deference. There were three hundred people in Plymouth now. Some were unfamiliar to him. But he’d been here long enough to have many familiars whom he wished were strangers.

  As if Billington had conjured him with his thoughts, Governor Bradford stepped out of his house. Billington looked away, but was not quick enough. Governor Bradford tipped his hat.

  The elders would never be his friends.

  Ten years before, when the hypocrites’ ship, the Speedwell, had sprung a leak—twice—they demanded a place on the already-crowded Mayflower. Bradford, who was then just a man with self-righteousness and an inheritance, asked John Billington to move his family’s place from the center of the ship to the side, where, during a storm, the water might run.

  You’d have me sleep with the gunpowder? Billington had said.

  Rather than turn back to Holland, whence they came, the puritans had persisted in adding themselves to the Mayflower. Billington knew they were a people who believed in God’s back parts—that God was ever present even when not visible. They believed in signs, as he did, so he spoke to them thus.

  Perhaps the leaking Speedwell is a sign, Master Bradford?

  William Bradford turned.

  A sign you should go back to Holland. Perhaps God does not wish you to see the New World.

  Profane, Bradford said, rather loudly, to his first wife, Dorothy—rest her soul—which was not for Dorothy at all, but for Billington. That was the first of many conflicts betwixt them.

  Billington wondered what allies and what foes might be aboard this approaching ship.

  It was not he, John Billington, nor his kind, who supported Bradford as governor. Billington had arrived as an indentured servant and as such was not even permitted to vote. Had the servants had a vote, Billington’s people would have been in the majority and Billington’s kind would have led. But no, he knew, they never would. They never did.

  John Billington had not been brought up with an inheritance, as Bradford, Brewster, and Carver were, as many of these hypocrites were, though they complained that Holland did not offer them enough. Being poor did not make him, John Billington, profane. Profanity was a man who preached God’s way and acted against it. Profanity was forbidding baptism and the celebration of Christmas, as these puritans did.

  Plymouth was the England that John Billington had tried to escape, just under a different name. Instead of King James, there was Governor Bradford and his hired soldier, Myles Standish.

  Billington let the chickens out of their coop. They rushed toward him, eager for scraps, but he had left the carrots and corn in the house. He lunged. Shoo.

  Dear God, he thought. Those birds. What sign could this be? A voice came to him, as it did on occasion. The voice may have been his own, or may have been his ancestors, or may have been God. But whenever it spoke, he listened. Today all will appear the same, but something will not be.

  Alice Bradford

  I sat back in the rocking chair and nursed Joseph.

  William tied his boots and said, Pay a visit to Mistress Billington? See to it that she understands the severity of her husband’s transgression.

  I nodded, but I was in turmoil. How little I knew when first I agreed to be a governor’s wife.

  I was to warn Mistress Billington that her husband’s letter to the colony’s investors, complaining of his ill treatment, was known to my husband, and in the future her husband would be punished. Master Billington, the Judas amongst us, the elder of the most profane family, as William often said, had told our investors that more than half those aboard the Mayflower had perished that first winter—a fact known—but also wrote that the land was barren, and that the beaver had moved farther north at our scent. His letter claimed that our one hired soldier, Myles Standish, was cruel and ill suited, and created unnecessary tension with the Indians. That more men were sick than working. That Weston, the liaison betwixt ourselves and the investors, was a thief and a liar, and had taken his family to Plymouth on false pretenses.

  We were to be in Virginia, Billington railed. And he knowingly took us north, outside of jurisdiction. It was their plan all along. These hypocrites are thieves.

  I confess that William’s earlier report of the land here being an embarrassment of riches was a bit of speculation. He began writing before he’d arrived ashore. Nevertheless, we were presently thriving.

  Beaver pelts, more fish than one can net, and if you have harpooning equipment, whale oil to live your life on, William wrote, advertising our colony in a pamphlet distributed throughout England, hoping for more colonists to join us.

  Billington signed his letter to the investors as The Ill-Treated Servant.

  What is this? the investors had asked William in a recent letter, about Billington’s claims.

  William’s letter back to investors—now sitting on his desk, to be sent with this incoming ship’s departure—assured them of Plymouth’s fecundity and reminded them of the trouble Master Billington had caused us since first he stepped aboard the Mayflower with his wife and two ill-behaved boys, toothless and shoving their hands in the casks of gunpowder.

  God tests, I’d say, when Billington interrupted my husband’s dinner speech with complaints.

  But William always replied, And, so, too, doth God punish.

  The Billington boys had shot their father’s musket and nearly set fire to the Mayflower ten years ago, and when John the younger had wandered off into the woods and was returned a month later by the Nauset, I am not the only mother who wished he would have stayed away. His mother slapped his face and called him an ungrateful twit. I imagine the Indians were glad to be rid of him.

  Of all the regrets William had about his negotiations with the investors, at the top of his list was that John Billington was allowed to sign up as an indentured servant, bring his family, and board the Mayflower.

  My husband did not want Master Billington at tonight’s dinner and had taken an approach on two fronts. Captain Standish would tell him there was no room, and I would warn his wife. He would be squeezed from both sides, until he was forced to change his ways, or leave. That was the plan, anyway.

  The letter from our investors—to whom we still owed a significant sum—said a representative was on the Gifte, that ship out at sea. They were coming to celebrate our great harvest.

  What wonderful news, I had said.

  But William scowled.

  No businessman says what he means. They are coming to oversee us because Billington has stirred in them doubt about my ability to lead.

  There was still so much for me to learn. William was learning, too, as he went along. Almost nine years into his role as governor was mere infancy in politics.

  To be a successful colony, to pay off our debts, to be free of England, we needed a good reputation. If Master Billington’s letter got out, if someone published it as a pamphlet—and oh, how the lascivious, gossip-mongering Londoners would revel in our failure, the hypocrites, the puritans, as they would say, mocking us—at stake could be our colony, our future, our children’s lives, our freedom.

  How to contain the fire of Master Billington so we would not lose good colonists and how to present our colony to the newcomers in a good light were the main tasks for William and me on the day the new colonists arrived. Of course, it would not be hard, I had thought. We were a colony fashioned in God’s favor.

  William stood behind me and placed his hand atop my head. I looked up at him. He smiled at Joseph.

  He kissed my neck. I felt the warmth of his lips, his breath on my earlobe. A soft kiss at my collarbone. He slipped his hand upon my bosom. I did not welcome this as much as God would wish it. As desirous of him as I was, I never was when the children were close.

  But other times, yes. My husband’s mouth betwixt my legs last evening.

  If Eleanor presses you, prithee tell her I have done all that I can. But I might not be so generous in the future.

  I was not accustomed yet to
using this kind of persuasion. It was unspoken of my role, but I knew it: to tell William what the people felt and to persuade the other half of the colony’s citizens—the women—that my husband made the right decisions. Amongst my kind, I liked this work. It gave me purpose. But to go to one of our former servants and try to convince her of something? I did not want that task, nor did I think I could achieve it.

  I will, I said. It was the quickest way to assure him I would speak with Eleanor. Saying more might further reveal my turmoil.

  Joseph slept against my chest, a warm dumpling. I relaxed and thought of all we women still needed to do to get ready for the new colonists’ dinner: more pies to bake, more bread to finish, more stew to cook, tables to set, and so forth. I could hear William the younger following his father up the hill, the goat’s bell jingling alongside him, on his way to the field. The same field that would be made bloody by the day’s later violence.

  Until the ship docked, my husband would count beaver pelts, hammer fences, and curse at inanimate objects, as was his way. The children would try to get out of the work it was their duty to do. I cajoled them with threats—God is watching!—but that often failed. Instead, I’d make a game of it. Who can find the most stones? I’d say to get them to prepare the ground for crops. I’d toss a cow’s knucklebone in the garden and ask them to hunt for treasures. But games only go so far. For the rest, there was the guidance of Scripture: He that spareth his rod hateth his son; But he that loveth him chasteneth him betime.

  I stepped outside.

  The two women I called my friends were already in their gardens, pulling weeds and plucking herbs. Our home was where the two main roads of our colony intersected, making an elongated cross. Broad Street ran down a gentle hill east to the sea and west up the hill to the meetinghouse. Our second street ran north and south, the entire length of our walled-in colony. The palisade—a wooden fence with sharpened pales around the interior of the colony—was eight feet high and kept our colony safe. To step into the outer fields, one had to pass the guards.